Surviving the Holidays
November 2008
by Deborah Amesbury, LCSW
Holidays tend to be especially stressful for families dealing with a mental illness.
There are often implied, if not explicit, expectation of certain types of behavior (e.g., exchanging gifts, socializing), feelings (happiness), etc. that are hard to live up to.
Large groups can be over-stimulating and confusing for individuals diagnosed with a brain disorder.
Holidays can be painful reminders of times past when things were better, thus highlighting present difficulties related to coping with a brain disorder.
Family get-togethers can raise the issue of what to tell people about the illness, what it's like living with a mental illness? etc.
Holidays lend themselves to individuals comparing themselves unfavorable to others. Other family members can experience survivor's guilt.
For those who find the holidays stressful:
Participate only in those activities you really enjoy.
S L O W down. The thing most people want for the holidays is "relaxed time with family and/or friends." "Hectic" is a choice — if you don't want a hectic holiday, make changes.
Accept you own limitations and don't be afraid to let other know what they are. If you can't be 3 places at once, say so!
Relax your "holiday Standards." Leave the perfect holiday homes, tables, parties, clothes and families to the magazines.
Remember. Healthy living is important to both good mental and good physical well being. Balance good nutrition with the pies, cakes and candies of the holidays. Limit alcohol intake.
Exercise can help relieve stress and depression. Whenever possible, WALK!
Smile! Laugh! Relish the fun things in life. If you hear a good joke, share it. If you see a "feel good" movie, let others know about it.
Don't correct or criticize. The holidays are about kindness and love, not about perfection, advice or achievements.
Roll with the punches. Be flexible and don't let the "unexpected" throw you.Take some time alone. Use it to read a good book, take a nap or just watch the sunset. You might just find out what a really neat person you are.
Adapted from When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness by Rebecca Woolis